Friday Funnies: Elevator Etiquette

If you work in a tall shiny office building like I do, the elevator can be your best friend or your worst enemy. The importance of an elevator is sometimes overlooked and overshadowed by the
foolish acts people engage in while waiting, boarding and standing in an elevator. Even if riding on an elevator is not part of your daily routine, consider this short mode of transportation as serious and important as riding the train, in a car or on a bus. SAFETY MEASURES and COURTESY is still expected, but I'm assured we are all not cognizant of the rules.

I was inspired to write this post by a certain suit-clad man who decided the doors don't close fast enough by themselves and so he would FORCE THEM to close faster by pushing them together. I stood there in shock, hoping the elevator wouldn't malfunction by his interference. Oh, what a microwave environment we live in. Please don't fall victim to these practical elevator no-no's.

If you're on the outside...
  • Running late? Not our fault! Have patience. The elevator is not making you that less late. When the doors open, stand to the side and WAIT until EVERYONE comes out before you go rushing on.
  • If you're a gentleman, let the women on first. This is because if there's any creepy crawlers or unseen dangers, she'll know how to handle them better.
  • Do not interfere with the doors closing. In other words, keep your hands, feet and other objects out of the doorway. Let the person ON the elevator decide if you should get on their ride. Do not take it upon yourself to invite yourself. If you do, don't be surprised if you get the stink eye.
  • If you don't fit, wait for the next one. This is not Tetris. Do not try to maneuver yourself to fit in some contorted way. You're causing everyone to feel anxious and uncomfortable.
Once inside...
  • If there's an attendant working inside, don't brag about what fun day you've had or will have that is more exciting than being inside an elevator all day. That's just rude. Your small talk is not brightening their day...
  • Turn your ipod down or off and get off your cell phone. We don't
    want to hear Lil' Jon screaming that early in the morning, or the latest drama you're instigatin'...
  • If someone is having a conversation, don't blatantly eavesdrop. Even if it's juicy, just look disinterested and impatient.
  • If someone is standing too close to the button panel, don't reach your hand in front of them. Simply say "excuse me" or ask them to press your floor.
If you're exiting...
  • Don't linger or hide in the nook. Be prepared to get off the elevator as soon as you reach your floor.
  • Wait for the people in front of you to get off first. Sounds like common knowledge, but you'll be surprised...
  • When you're on a crowded elevator, don't stroll off. No one likes to be on an elevator longer than they should. Grab your bags and keep the conversation moving!
And if you want to have fun on the elevator just make sure it's harmless...try some of these tips from a man who's spent most of his life working in elevators:
  • "Hold the door open at ground level longer than necessary. When the other passengers glare at you, tell them the lift is refueling."
  • "When someone presses a floor number, give them a strange look and say, "So. YOU'RE the one."
  • "If people are looking grim, suggest a group hug."
  • "Whenever a guy in a dark suit gets on board, hum the James Bond theme."
  • "When any male and female enter, especially if they don't know each other, sing the Wedding March."
  • When someone leaves the elevator, say, "Goodbye, darling. I'll never forget you."
What is your elevator pet peeve?

Photo credit.

Happy Friday, hope this brightened your day!

PS- Check the 30 Before 30! It's finally up!


Arena @ {thenerdswife} said...

Stopping by from Follow Friday! I'm a new follower!

You can visit me at The Nerd's Wife.

Happy Friday!

aka The Nerd's Wife

brandileigh2003 said...

Just hopping by to say hello! I am following and can’t wait to read more from your blog. I have a Crescendo contest going on and here is my link for my Follow Friday

lori said...

Those are great! The Tetris reference had me cracking up. I'm a new follower!

chevon27 said...

Very funny Tica. My elevator pet peeve is people who get on the elevator and are going to the 2nd floor! I'm like, "come on u lazy bum"..unless u have no legs u should be taking the stairs!!

travelingmama said...

So glad you stopped by my blog! I love this funny post! It's all SO true!! have a great weekend!

Miss Journey said...

Something about being in elevators cracks me up. I don't know what it is but I always get the giggles when I'm in an elevator. I think it's because you can usually feel the tension as everyone tries so hard to be reserved and practically hold their breath until their exit. Maybe this is against elevator etiquette but I usually engage in some ridiculous conversation to see how many people will giggle (even if involuntarily).

AMP said...

So funny and true - my elevator pet peeve is when moms or dads get on the elevator with their child(ren) (who I'm "sure" are angels when with mommy and daddy) who then proceed to press all the buttons for fun....soooo not fun when you have to go to the 6th flooor and said parent/child lives on the 2nd floor (when they should have just walked up!)

Fort Greene Queen said...

OMG, Tracey-I HATE it when people put their friggin' hands in front of you when you're standing in front of the buttons.

Say EXCUSE ME...or ask me to press your button. I'll do it for you. Rude!!!