Real Talk: What I've Learned...

"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you." -- Frederick Buechner, Telling the Truth

Barely a month into this 25 year-old experience and God is already stretching me. Today I'm inspired to talk about the things I've learned/am learning from people around me.

What I've Learned:

From my father- I'm a mental escapist-- bound by circumstance. The first time I met my father was in an airport, and when I was a child, he just as good as lived there. The airport represented destinations but it also represented running from real life- which for him meant his fatherly duties. Today, I work to travel. It's my anti-drug against the monotony of life. It's also my prescription for hard times. Has someone ever pissed you off enough to want to leave? Not just walk around the block or drive around to cool off, but to find your preferred mode of transportation and leave town? Not that it's a resolution to the problem, but in the very least, moving from one element to the next changes your perspective.

from my mother- Make the best of what you got until you're in the position to do better. Comfort and Home should be synonymous. My mother put up with detestable/hair-pulling living situations until she was able to make her own home. I desire to make a home in the way she has- filled with strict cleaning rituals to clear the mind, no clutter to mirror a junk-free life, so that when people walk in your home your front door is the entrance to a wholesome hug.

from my grandmother- Unconditional service to others should be a joy we seek to indulge everyday. No matter how small or how big the service might seem to us. Selflessness means devotion to someone else's feelings, thoughts and priorities. Have you ever cared for someone so, where you anticipated their needs and went out of your way to do something nice? Most mothers experience selflessness upon the birth of their first child. Sometimes siblings are raised with the instinctual eye and heart. Don't serve expecting a return. Even if you don't get a "thank you" or a "perk" will you still do it?

from God- I will never comprehend the concept behind grace, and I guess I'm not meant to.
How does God know when we are about to do wrong, let us do it, then believe us when
we say we didn't mean it?...and then watch us in this cycle over and over again?

from friends- Friendship is relative. What I may consider a friend you may consider family, what you consider a friend I may consider an associate, and so on. I'm learning to accept that not all my friends serve the same purpose, and that I cannot walk around with a list of all attributes every friend has to fulfill- it's unrealistic and I'm setting myself up to be dissapointed. Oh but what beauty, when both parties are indeed on the same page, and friendship thrives.

from those who have loved me (romantically): There are no guarantees in life. We, as humans, have only but so much control. God is the only constant. He's not fickle and wayward, as we.

from those who have hurt me: Pain is not preferable, but it is only temporary and in some instances, necessary.

All this to say that we grow every day. Even if it's not substantial in your eyes, and you can't measure it with a ruler, a cup or a "rough estimate"--we still grow. Whether it be in a field full of fertile neighbors/crops, or out of a concrete sidewalk were water is scarce and survival is a play-by-play challenge...real talk, growth is inevitable.


Ms. Understood said...

Great post. What a way to summarize 25 years. I love what you said about pain, it truly is temporary and sometimes very necessary. I also dig your mom on making the best of what you have until you can do better. I think it's great. Only catch is some people use that in relationships too.

Lauren said...

New follower from the monday blog hop!

Have a happy monday!


Nicole said...

Excellent post!

Tell Me Something Good said...

Thank you for following Tell Me Something Good blog. Tomorrow we'll be talking fashion. Come back and join in.

AMP said...

25 is definitely a learning age - take each lesson and run with it and apply it so that the lesson doesn't have to be learned again and again! I do agree with what you've learned from MOM - make the best with what you have bc that hard work will turn into something better--mom's make such incomprehensible sacrifices that I am awed every day by the moms around me! Stay learning bc knowledge is power (chessy but true)

Fort Greene Queen said...


This piece really touched me.

How brave of you to open up about some very personal relationships and the way in which they have molded you into who you are today. You are a very introspective and wise young woman.

I think you said it best about friends'setting yourself up to be disappointed.

About romantic relationships-we only have so much control.

Love you much,


Jennifer B said...

You are such a great writer, I love it! <3

Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres said...

This was a beautiful way to let us know and those that you care about know how they inspire you. Just lovely!